Getting Out of A Ticket

A man in his 40’s bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. «There’s no way they can catch a BMW,» he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100…. Then the reality of the situation hit him. «What the hell am I doing?» he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. Читать далее Getting Out of A Ticket

Some Things You Just Can’t Explain

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, «Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?» The farmer shook his head and replied, «Some things you just can’t explain.» Читать далее Some Things You Just Can’t Explain

Sherlock Holmes and Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. «Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.» Watson replied, «I see millions and millions of stars.»
«What does that tell you?» Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. «Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?»
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. «Watson, you retard. It tells me that some bastard has stolen our tent!»